.jessica lynn.

Please visit me!

2010-06-29T07:46:00.012-06:00

Hello from the MTC!
Jk, this is Jess's sister, Manda.
As you may know, this blog is on hold for 17 more months.
But Jess started a Mission Blog before she left, and I've been updating it with her weekly letters. When she returns, she's going to make a book of that blog as a keepsake,
so feel free to leave your comments!

Jess has never been happier,
doing her best to help change the world. You can follow
her progress and her amazing stories on her mission blog
by clicking on the link below:

*Sister Naegle's Thailand Blog*

.bye my friends.

2010-05-04T09:17:00.008-06:00

This is it!

What I've been waiting for for quite some time now....and it's finally here. Tomorrow I will be reporting to the MTC to serve in the Bangkok, Thailand mission.
HOORAY!
I can't really describe what I'm feeling, so I won't try too hard to express it. Let's just say it pretty much feels like a dream that I'm even going on a mission...I'm sure I'll have a great wake up call when I wake up in the MTC on Thursday morning. But quite frankly, rather than feeling like most people say I will (they say waking up after the first night you just stare at the ceiling, and ask yourself, "What have I done?"), I think I'll wake up Thursday morning realizing where I am, and thinking to myself, "FINALLY!!"
I. Am. Ready.
Thanks to all my friends and family for their love and support. Cliche, but I couldn't do it without you. I've been spending some time thinking about people who have influenced me in my lifetime...it's too overwhelming to even begin discussing it. I love each and every one of you!
So, now it's time to retire from the blogs, the facebooks, the unnecessary internet use...and give my entire
being to the Lord.
I will stop at nothing to accomplish what He needs me to.
I doubt anyone is taking the time to even read this...but if you are, then know that me and God love you. A lot.
So here it is, folks.
Sister Naegle is signing off.

If I knew how to say goodbye in Thai, I would.
Ask me in 18 months. Hopefully I know how.

I love Thailand.

.8 days.

2010-04-27T14:55:00.003-06:00

Farewell down, 8 days to go.

It seems a little surreal...my grandparents just stopped by for a minute to say the official "goodbye," and I'm left with this out of body experience. It's almost as if "missionary Jessica" is watching "real time Jessica" go through all the motions, just awaiting "real time Jessica" to catch up to her in the MTC. I'm living two separate lives right now. The one I'm physically in, and the one my mind can't run away from.
Ah. 8 days.
Though I'm thoroughly enjoying my time in St. George this week. LAST WEEK! Janelle and I got right down to studying yesterday when I got back...but then figured we earned a break. She kicked butt and took some names in a few tournaments of ping pong. She blew me out of the water.
So yes, I'm finding time to slow down, and enjoy life now.
Lately, there have been little moments when all I want to do is capture every smile, movement, joke, story, emotion, conversation and keep it in my heart for the rest of my life (especially the next 18 months). Sometimes "real-time Jessica" wants to be anxious about leaving to a strange place for a long time, and in turn gets pretty worked up about spending time with people. In the moment she is with people, she doesn't take time to really enjoy the company she's in! However, I'm allowing "missionary Jessica" all the freedom she wants in taking over.
Result? Quality time spent with those I love.
Thanks to all the friends and family for the support on Sunday! I loved seeing so many familiar faces in one room.
LOVED it.

.st geezy.

2010-04-19T17:31:00.011-06:00

I LOVE ST. GEORGE.

Why, you ask? I'll list a few reasons:
1) Sunshine. Always.
2) Red rock sunsets.

3) Nursing school.

4) Delightful friends.

5) Mom is here.

6) Pool-time in October.

7) Random trips to Vegas.

8)Gambling in Vegas. Biggest waste of $1.

9) Roommates.

10) Long runs through the desert.
11) Surprise trips from my best friend.

12) Zions.

13) Family visits.

14) Taking care of the raddest 101 yr old ever.

15) Spontaneous trips to Logan.

16) Studying outside in February. Weather......

17) In my mind, St. George=mission prep.

18) Elementary school carnivals.

19) Bonfires with creepy men in masks.

20) California road trips.

21) Celebration of my 21st birthday on the 21st. Golden.

22) Old friends in random places.

23) Stark white temple.

24) St. George made me me.

Yes...love my life.
16 days and counting.

.AA.

2010-04-13T14:11:00.003-06:00

Alcoholics Anonymous.
Yup, clinical experience of the day.
This sounds silly, but as I sat there listening to all these absolutely unreal stories about drug addictions, moving into the woods with some stranger because you're so high, bouncing in and out of jail 6-7 times, giving birth in the back of a truck on the coast of Oregon...the list goes on and on....I realized something profound.
God loves these people just as much as He loves me.
Yeah, yeah...I know this isn't so profound to some of you. But as my roommates often remind me, I'm one of the more naive people of this world (of which I'm grateful--thank you, Bountiful). I am no better for having the gospel in my life, all that means is I've been given additional responsibility to GO SHARE IT.
The good news?
I'm gone 3 weeks from tomorrow.
At times I find myself in a twisted, messy, unhealthy relationship with life that I forget one simple truth--God has placed me in the situation I'm currently in because He believed I would do something about it. Sure, it's a piece of cake to share it when that's all I will be doing for 18 months. That will be my life! But at home there are so many distractions. Something else I often forget is that it does not have to be a formal, sit down, let-me-teach-you-the-gospel discussion. Silly!
I have just one request:
Find a simple way to share the gospel with someone today.
Emphasis on SIMPLE.
'Cause frankly, the gospel is simple.
"By small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about His great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls." -Alma 37:6-7
Hear that? VERY SMALL MEANS.
Emphasize what you can do, not what you don't have time to.
There will never be enough time, if you let it be that way. My point is don't overlook simple ways to serve because you are in search of a grandiose experience. You'll be waiting a looooooong time if that's the case.
Just get out there and do something.

.teacher.

2010-03-29T09:38:00.007-06:00

My favorite calling thus far has certainly been
Relief Society teacher.
I can't express the uncertainty I feel before a lesson, now matter how much preparation I do. I always feel unprepared! My new and improved teaching method is to compile a bunch of information, not particularly organized, then let
the class take it's course.
So far, it's proven effective.
I just can't describe the feeling of standing in front of a class, feeling like the dust of the earth. Ha, literally...I feel like I have nowhere near enough knowledge to be teaching the amazing women in my ward (and any of you that have taught, have undoubtedly felt this way). Inadequacy is one of the most humbling emotions. No question. But with humility comes reliance (hopefully on the one you need most), and that reliance somehow qualifies you for a higher power. It certainly wasn't me teaching those women yesterday. I was taught just as much, if not more, than any of them.
And in that one moment, it hits you like a ton of bricks. You know the truth right then, when you are entirely overcome with gratitude for everything.
He teaches you,
blesses you,corrects you,
sacrificed for you,
answers you,
gives freely to you,
directs you,
invites you,
created you,
loves YOU.
And all He asks?
Is that we follow Him, and testify of Him. Not hard to do when you've genuinely had a change of heart, is it? He becomes you're everything.
I'm grateful to teach, and to feel of the Spirit so strongly when I'm placed in difficult, uncomfortable, unsure-of-myself situations.
I always learn!
On a slightly different note--
I LOVE BBQs.
Ha, yes it's true. Janelle actually bought a little bbq last week at Lowe's, and invited us over to test it out last night. It was delightful! The smells, the company, the food, the laughter, the sunshine, the games...all makes for a killer Sunday evening.
And to my dear friend St. Geezy...I shall miss you.
Deeply.
Oh yes, and thanks to Ms. Shelby for talking to me on the phone last night. I think you knew you needed to pick up the phone and give Aunt Jess a good chuckle. You always know how to make me laugh. You were straight business, no play, telling me straight up how things were going to happen. Can't wait to take you swimming this weekend! And to my ladies?
MICHAEL BUBLE, HERE WE COME.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA
Want an ultimate feel-gooder? Watch this.
Cheese. Ball.
Oh, and the blonde girl is his fiance.

.possibilities.

2010-03-17T20:49:00.004-06:00

Two posts in a day?

I know, a little much.
But I must share an experience I had tonight. Forgive me.
So--my institute teacher used to be a seminary teacher in Salt Lake, where the Seminary President was Brother Munns. During a meeting the teachers had, Brother Munns told of a story from his mission. He explained that he hosted President Hinckley during his stay, kind of like his chauffeur. After his arrival, President Hinckley had visits with the Stake President, Mission President, etc, and ended up visiting until after midnight. Elder Munns thought he'd do some service, and make a nice breakfast for President Hinckley early the next morning. He woke at 5, showered, and went downstairs shortly after...only to find President Hinckley dressed and studying his scriptures! The Elder said, "Elder Hinckley, I was going to make you breakfast!" President Hinckley responded that he'd already eaten, but that Elder Munns should get himself something. He was ready to get going as soon as possible. They were out the door well before 6! They did this for 3 days straight--out until midnight or so, up and going by 5 the next morning, with little breaks throughout the day. By the end of the 3 days, Elder Munns said President Hinckley wore him out. As he drove President Hinckley to the airport, President Hinckley said, "Elder, you have a question for me, don't you?" Elder Munns said he did, and asked how he was able to keep this tight, jam-packed schedule he did. President Hinckley explained that when he was called to be a General Authority, he created a schedule of how he wanted to spend his time. He took this schedule before the Lord, and told Him this was what he had planned--He asked to Lord to consecrate His schedule and give him strength to continue with his calling.
Here's the kicker.
He maintained that same schedule for 47 years of service.
How does a human being accomplish that on his own?
He doesn't.
President Hinckley was blessed with energy, endurance, and zest for life! God consecrated his work and his efforts, and made them incredible.
My schedule has been far from reasonable this semester, and it's mostly by choice. I have too much I want to do in addition to school! It hasn't been easy, but I've definitely reaped blessings. I've seen His hand in my life as I've done my school work, but asked for His help as I've maintained my spiritual growth, as well. I'm getting less sleep than I ever have, but have more energy than I've had in a long time. Perhaps...ever. And this lesson will only continue to play a critical role in my life as I venture out to serve as a full-time missionary! I may get more and more tired everyday, but I'll never, ever, ever cease to work. He will consecrate my efforts!

What extra efforts are you giving,
and do you notice Him making up the rest?

This is truth.

.lucky.

2010-03-17T15:52:00.008-06:00

Ah, yes. Ireland.
Someday I'll be backpacking through your luscious green hills, drinking typical Irish drinks, snacking on typical Irish treats, meeting all sorts of Irish people, visiting some Irish pubs, seeing everything that Ireland has to offer...
Someday.
But for now, St. George is juuuuuuust fahne (said as a southern belle). It's 72 degrees today! I even went for a jog yesterday and got some sun! Mmm. I'm even sitting at my desk with my window open, feeling springtime's gentle breeze. I love life. My roommate and I discussed how nice weather makes you want to take advantage of life--I have energy on minimal amounts of sleep! The problem is...it's energy to do things that aren't necessarily productive. Regardless, for a winter all cooped up, that first day in the sun feel miiiiiighty nahce.
I want to second Sarah's post about our twin boys! 2 words--adorable brothers. I can't wait to have more kids added to the group--they're certainly going to mix things up a bit with all the girls we have around here. Max will be very grateful to have some playmates, I'm sure. Congrats to Nate and Emmer, they're wonderful parents already. And to Caden and Blake--I LOVE YOU already!
And....shout out to Jaclyn! She's coming home May 4th, the day before I leave. I am beyond grateful that I'll at least get to see her, and possibly have her come to my setting apart! What a blessing. This girl has influenced me in my decision to serve a mission more than she'll ever know. Can't wait!And completely off the subject (though this post is rather scattered, anyway), but I just wanted to share "Ireland's Top Joke"....whatever that means. Ha, I enjoyed it!
A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news."
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies,"You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible," said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."
Silly, silly.
Happy St. Patty's Day, y'all.

And good luck to my fellow peeps running the
Moab half marathon Saturday!
I might die, so come back for me when you've finished.
Can't wait for the festivities aside from running, too.
Motorcycles, sunshine, carbonara...YES.

Oh, and I love a good spring break spent at a condo in the mountains.

Love her.

.watch out.

2010-02-26T12:39:00.008-07:00

Professors keep reminding us that nursing has come a long way. We should be grateful to be studying at the time we are! Then they counter that piece of information by telling us many of the procedures we're learning now will have changed or be obsolete in 5 years from now. I'm definitely in for the long-haul through the education department!
I don't mind...I love what I'm learning.

We started our clinicals at the Dixie Regional Hospital this week. It was totally different than I anticipated...in a good way. I really enjoyed it! Some nurses were incredible at their jobs--on top of it all, making their patients feel important, foreseeing some risky situations, etc. Other nurses....well, I'm sure you've had a not-so-good nurse at one point in your life, so I'll spare details. Let's just say those nurses made me feel worlds better about my decision to become a nurse, boosting my confidence in my abilities. I shouldn't be too quick to say this, maybe I'll be one of them! At least I know I'm doing everything I can now to prevent becoming one of them.
In other words, my studies are a prophylactic treatment of becoming a crappy nurse.
Ha. I'm eating, drinking, and sleeping nursing right now.
For a short time, I resented nursing because it was keeping me from "preparing" for a mission. I've found a way around that obstacle. Preparing for anything takes time! It isn't instantaneous, or an event. Preparation is what you're doing from day to day to enable yourself with information/skills/training/knowledge etc. to encounter a situation in the future! In other words, who cares how busy I am now? No matter how busy, I should always be preparing for the future. Otherwise, I'm too busy. I'm never going to have time to just prepare for a mission, or marriage, or children, or callings, or anything for that matter.
What's important in my life right now is balance.
Balance in school, gospel education, family, social life, etc.
School has never been as crazy in my entire life as it's been the past 2 weeks. The wonderful miracle of it all, is that I've done everything that's been required of me, and done it well. Along with school, I've made time for gospel preparation that I desperately need right now (study, prayer, institute), and have indefinitely reaped the rewards.
I feel empowered.
Right now, BALANCE=A VERY HAPPY LIFE FOR JESSICA.
A lesson well-learned now may save me some worry later.
Anyway, my point of telling you this is that I don't resent nursing at all! In fact, I've never been more sure of my decision to be a nurse than recently. I loved everything about being in the hospital, surrounded with real-life situations of everything we've been learning in school, being able to apply my knowledge and actually feel like I'm helping someone. Which, in some respects, has made it harder to think about leaving. It would be so easy to finish out next year and just be finished with my RN, rather than go through all the grief of trying to find a job/get re-accepted when I get home...but all I can tell myself in these moments of doubt is Heavenly Father will provide a way for that which He's asked me to do.
Incredibly simple, but entirely true.

Besides.
Compared to 18 months, I've got all the time in the world to figure out nursing. I'll count my lucky stars someday when I look in the mirror and see this face staring right back at me. I'll know at that moment that I've made at least 2 right decisions in my life:
serving a mission, and going to nursing school.

.skoo.

2010-02-19T15:59:00.003-07:00

School seems like one of those necessary evils, lately. I just have to remind myself that I don't want to be completely ruined when I get home, so I better do ALL I CAN now. Many times, that's easier said than done.
I need to express my gratitude for inspired institute teachers! After being up since 5:30 am, spending the day at clinicals until 7:00 pm, I'll just say that institute was a breath of fresh air. He challenged our class to make our scripture study a continual prayer. In other words, begin your prayer before you start reading, asking Heavenly Father to show you something you need to learn during your study...but don't close your prayer! You stop "mid-prayer," and begin your scripture study. After you complete your study, kneel again in a prayer of gratitude for the things you learned and close your prayer. Done in this way, scripture study will become an attitude of prayer to Heavenly Father...making yourself more available to the spirit and what He needs to show you. I have tested the waters the past 3 days using this technique. Let me tell you, the miracles I've witnessed in my life are incredible! I have received answers to prayers before via scripture study, but never in such a powerful way. The presence of the spirit has been undeniable when I study the scriptures this way!
So (I'm sure you knew this was coming), I would invite you to try this method during your next scripture study session. I promise you will receive answers and new knowledge when you study this way! Only 3 days in, and I'm convinced.
As far as school is going...well, let's just say I've had a lot of catching up to do since I've gone home the last three weekends, and accomplished nothing on those weekends. This week clinicals started, plus the outside preparation for clinicals, I have 4 tests, a paper to write, plus trying to catch up. It hasn't been the best week of my life, let's just say that.
But I have done my very best to continually make time for scripture study. So while I haven't had the most relaxing week, at least I've been calm as I've tried to get all my work done. I know that I'm in the right place, doing the right thing, and if I do my best Heavenly Father will provide a way for me to accomplish what He's asked. I don't think going through the temple could have come at a better time of my life. I think He knew I needed that perspective change right about now! Ever since I walked out the temple doors last Saturday, I've been really trying to keep the spirit of the temple (aka, the Holy Ghost) with me at all times. ALL TIMES. I have been far from perfect, but never have I tried so hard.
The results amaze me.
One last thought before I hit the books again (some Friday night, eh?).
Alma 26 (my favorite chapter of the entire Book of Mormon) says a bit of what I'm feeling right about now. Vs. 11-12, 16, 36.
"I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things....Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men?
Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.
Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation."
Rather long, yes. But I truly can't describe how I'm feeling, and Ammon helps put words to what I'm feeling. I know it won't be me helping the people of Thailand--I just need to remain close to the Spirit, so I can be an instrument in His hands! I've been doing my best at testing this concept here, before I'm in the mission. Bottom line? It works.
When you make yourself available, He will use you.

In case you didn't see my my initial reaction, here it is.

.thailand.

2010-02-04T09:28:00.008-07:00

Yup. You guessed it.
I have been assigned to labor in the
BANGKOK, THAILAND MISSION!!!
I don't know if I'll be serving anyone like these fella's here...I guess it's possible. I can quite honestly tell you that Bangkok, Thailand was the last place on my mind when I opened my call. Many people shared experiences with me about their mission call experience. Most people said they felt an instant feeling that they were "going home."
I opened the envelope and my eyes went directly to the word, "Thailand."
HOLY SMOKE.
I don't know that I've ever been empty of words, but if there was ever a time in my life that it's happened, that was definitely it. I couldn't talk for a good 20 seconds!
The one question I had running through my mind was, "How will I ever learn the Thai language?"
The first day, needless to say, was rather overwhelming. I've never felt so many emotions rolled into one: I wanted to scream, cry, laugh, shriek in fear, and jump for joy all at the same time.

As I groggily came to on Saturday morning, I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling. "Was that a dream?" I thought. "Did I seriously get called to Bangkok, Thailand?" As I re-oriented myself to the reality of my situation, all I could was smile.

I quickly realized that the entire night before I had been too concerned with my capabilities. Of course I can't learn Thai in such a short amount of time.
I'm human! I'm imperfect in every way.
However, a perfect God believes that I can do it.
I know He will never, ever, ever ask me to do something I can't handle.
Just as Nephi once said..."Wherefore, the Lord hath commanded me to make these plates for a wise purpose in him, which purpose I know not. But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen."
Even if I'm not sure quite yet why I'm supposed to go to Thailand, I do know that Heavenly Father has asked me to go.
That's enough.

Besides, maybe I'll get to ride an elephant while I'm there!

It's pretty incredible that I feel such a strong connection to this place without ever having been there. Yes, it took some time. But with each day that passes, I feel a more intense draw towards Thailand. Like you said, Emmer. This feels like my second home.

Plus, how could you NOT want to pick up these kids and love the living daylights out of them? Besides my nieces/nephews, there have NEVER been more adorable children on the entire planet.
I wonder who the Lord has prepared to hear His message from little ol' me?
I supposed we'll find out soon enough.
Thailand, here I come.

.Shout Out.

2010-01-28T16:53:00.006-07:00

This is a shout out to my very best friend in the entire universe (aside from mi familia).

Let's just recount our past together...
FROM...
playdates together when we were 3,
to walking to and from her house, to my house, to the Millet's house, to the Richter's house,
to eating ramen noodles with frozen peas,
to playing in the "Lizard Valley" together (aka the haunted gully),
to sharing the blessed month of January as our birthday month,
to sneaking out in the middle of the night to walk to each other's houses,
to sucking honeysuckles in the McMurray's yard,
to jumping on the trampoline for hours on end,

to wearing the most atrocious, humongous glasses in the entire world at the same time (That's right, blue/purple for her, gold for me. You could feel them on your cheeks without smiling--this pic is almost an exact re-enactment, haha),
to being in the same 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, and 6th grade classes together,
to Jr. High and High School together,
to going through our BEST looking Jr. High days together (I refer to this point in our lives as "The Black Hole"),
to ridiculous bus rides together in Jr. High...all the sporting events as officer and cheer leader,
to going on a cruise through the Caribbean together (plenty of stories that can be shared later...remember the "curfew knocking system" with your parents? Ha...),
to flying up to Logan in the little airplane for a day (who knew we'd be living there together 12 years later?),
to going to a number of High School dances together in the same group,
to joking about "Music to the Maxx!!"
to going to Star Valley Wyoming together...I loved that,
to "early rising sleep overs" together, because we want to "seize the day!",
to deciding what we felt was uplifting together (which made making good decision MUCH easier when I knew my best friend would do the same. She is the ultimate "do good-er," and tends to have a contagious effect on others. Especially me),
to graduating High School together,
to giving each other a shoulder to cry on in really, really, really difficult times,
to knowing each other better than anyone else,
to deciding on Nursing at the same time, without the other knowing (ridiculous),
to being together in Logan for a year (I miss it DAILY),
to having a delicious veggie burger together for lunch (along with plenty of other delectable dishes she prepared),
to being polar opposites in height since day 1 (height among other things, yet we've been SO good for each other through all these years. I love us.),
to spending spring break together (Toquerville!),

to responding in brutally honest ways,
to deciding on a MISSION at the same time,
without the other knowing,
to turning in our mission papers at the same time,
without the other knowing,
and to receiving our mission calls the exact same day (but me delaying a couple days)....
And everything in between.
The best part?
We have been best friends through it all, thick and thin, easy and hard, fun and crappy, distressing and peaceful. She's always been there, and always will be there.
I've talked to her more this week than I have in a long time, as we have been preparing to open our mission calls. She is one of the most hardworking, faithful, prayerful, optimistic, genuine, spiritual women I have ever known.
Becs? I am more grateful for you than you'll ever know.
And I cannot wait for your mission in....
Richmond, Virginia...Spanish speaking.
And now, to continue our list, we are going to be leaving about the same time, serving a mission "together," and writing each other throughout the most life-altering 18 months of our entire lives. I can't wait!
Let the wild roller coaster begin...
I love you, Bec.
See you tomorrow when I open MY call! AH!

.this is it.

2010-01-20T21:32:00.003-07:00

I've officially started Mission Preparation.
I'll be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it. I've heard some horrendous stories about Mission Prep. I figured I'd be wrapped up in a class with a bunch of 18 year old boys, going through some "scenarios" and learning the basics of the gospel that I already knew.
Well folks? I've got news.
That IS Mission Preparation.
And I must say, I loved it! There was something about being surrounded by 30 other people who are preparing for the same life-altering thing I am.
I would imagine that people in "Alcoholics Anonymous" feel similar to what I was feeling today: "Someone actually understands how I feel!" and "She's worried about the same things I am..." and "At least he's struggling memorizing that scripture too" (okay, that may not be going though an Alcoholics Anonymous participator's mind...).
I tell you what. This is a missionary's preparatory support system dream come true. Hallelujah! My heart is full of gratitude tonight for a Father in Heaven who hears my heartfelt prayers, and takes the time to answer them. Mission Prep is on of those answers!
Here it is, folks--my 21st Birthday! I've been told that it is my "Golden Birthday," meaning I'm turning 21 on the 21st of January. Crazy! I have a good feeling that I'm actually going to feel different this birthday. 21 is a big milestone! I'd like to say that I'm "wise beyond my years" at 21. but that would be lying. I feel like a pretty average 21 year-old, but I'm okay with it. Because in all honesty? I like where this 21 year-old is headed.
Can't beat that.

.Fresh Start.

2010-01-10T21:11:00.005-07:00

Yeah...monkey arms with those gloves on.
I was embarrassed.

Christmas morning after a sleepover in sleeping bags.
We were stoked.

One of my new favorite things.
Sleepovers with Shelber.

January. A time of new beginnings, determination, and fixed resolutions. Perfect thought processes for this time of my life, I dare say. High anxiety sums up my current emotions. The start of a new semester of nursing, preparing for a mission,
and actually receiving that mission call.
Wowzer.
I didn't think the day would ever come! Since making this decision three months ago, I've been trying to do my best at remaining patient. I trust that Heavenly Father will allow things to happen in His time frame, not mine. Patience is crucial. And, as I've been told again and again, patience is going to be crucial for the next 18 months of my life, so I might as well get used to the feeling now, right? I've noticed that patience pays off in small degrees--for example, Dad just got off the phone with the Bishop...they're going in by Wednesday at the latest.
HOORAYYYYYYYYY!!!!
And yes. I did just squeal with excitement.
Sitting in front of my computer. Alone.
While this definitely is an adventure I'll never, ever forget, it's going to be a challenge (I'm sure more than I realize...). I'm going to be missing a couple new nieces and nephews, I'm certain. But at least I'll get to see my twins before I leave! I must say I've thoroughly enjoyed helping my sister get ready for those two rascals. Ultrasounds, baby showers. hanging up clothes, decorating...these boys are definitely
coming to earth in style.
And there's no one I know that could possibly be a better twin boy mom then my sister, Emily. Love you, Emmer.
Christmas break is finally coming to a close. Where did time fly? It's been almost a month, and I'm still struggling at the thought of returning to St. Geezy. I guess this falls into the patience category. Sometimes I just need to do things that I don't care to do, just because I need to do them. Sounds simplified. But believe it or not, that is the very thing I've struggled with most over the years. I'm sure most of you knew that anyway...I'm pretty good at weaseling out of things I don't care to do. That's BAD. I need to be more devoted to difficult things!
This semester will certainly be a challenge.
I guarantee it.
But with challenge comes growth,
and with growth comes progression,
and with progression comes preparation.
And I need all the preparation I can get with this mission thing, don't ya think? :) I'm excited for the challenges that lie ahead. I'm taking a breath of fresh, clean air and a long stride into the future. This semester will be cake. Positive thinking.
Lots of positive thinking.
Thanks to my wonderful friends and family who made this Christmas break so wonderful. I loved spending time with everyone...bananagrams, "Meet the Robinsons," sledding 'til you can't walk anymore, mint hot chocolate, sleep overs with Shelber, game nights, all the ham you could possibly stand, sleeping by the Christmas Tree...that's what Christmas is all about.
I love my family!
Thanks for making my "last" Christmas so memorable.
Let the "lasts" begin, Lizard! Oh, how you love those. Ha.

.Officially Christmas.

2009-12-01T17:45:00.010-07:00

Oh, creativity.

I'm sitting in the dark front room of my apartment, staring at the lit up Christmas tree my roommate set up in our window, and wondering where time flies so quickly. I pinched myself this morning to make sure I was seeing the calendar correctly. December 1st? Really??

After a long morning of studying, I found time to visit a couple of antique shops in downtown St. George. As I picked through odds and ends from the 1930s, I got to thinking about next Christmas (I'm positive others are sick of me talking about it, sorry--it's all I can think about). Where will I be? Who will I be working with? It's surreal to be thinking these things. As dad would say, "Jessica, in all reality no one knows where they're going to be next Christmas. For all I know, I could have a calling on the other side this time next year!" (I never much liked when he said this, I just pretend that he's going to die the same day as me...hehe) Let's just put "reality" aside, and just let my mind run away to the pleasure of wishful thinking.
Georgia? Brazil? Germany? Australia? Idaho? Mongolia, living in a yurt in the middle of an obscure mountain range?
Possibilities are endless.
And honestly...? It ruffles my feathers a bit.
Yet, as I seriously think about my life one year from now, I can't help but feel a quiet serenity. It's pretty exhilarating to imagine where I'll be. Not only do I feel peace from my personal confirmation, but a chat with my two oldest sisters this weekend has helped boost my confidence in my decision. I am reminded of the importance of Guardian Angels...and know they're real. On occasion, I need to remind myself that I don't only have family supporting me in this life--there are those who have passed before me. My Guardian Angels, plus the company of the spirit, and knowing I'm doing what Heavenly Father wants, and the support of family and friends...why would I ever shy away from what He wants?
I wouldn't.
I loved having family down this past weekend! Amanda, Trav and Shelby, you were greatly missed. But, putting Dad's comment aside for a moment, there will be plenty of holidays to come!
I'll love my family forever.
And ever.

.gratitude.

2009-11-24T21:22:00.017-07:00

Oh, Miss Olivia.
I swear those eyes see things inside
me that I've never seen before.
Nor will I ever see.

My Little Rosie.
Innocence is not common these days...
But you can't begin to tell me
this face isn't chock-full of innocence.

And this little one?
Filled to the brim with delight. Shelby feels more in her
little finger than most people do
in a lifetime--her expression says it all.

These little blessings from Heavenly Father are just a few reasons why my heart is bursting with joy this Thanksgiving season. My sweetheart nieces, along with my niece and nephew in Virginia, another baby on the way back east, plus two nephews on the way (TWINS!), give me more motivation to move forward than I ever thought possible. Here's a few more things on my list...
1) Sunny days with cool air.
2) Nursing school.
3) Swingsets.
4) America's Funniest Home Videos.
5) Christmastime--the whole shebang.
6) Smiling whenever I want.
7) Emotion in general.
8) Genuine, earnest prayer.
9) Toothbrushes.
10) Traveling...by plane, train, or automobile.
11) Grandma's advice.
12) Running away my anger.
13) Temples.
14) The house on Oakridge Drive--and all
the memories that go with it.
15) Hilarious comebacks (Jame...)
16) Music that speaks to my soul. I don't know what
I would do without music, to be honest.
17) Ability to reason.
18) The feeling of having NO FEAR. Only peace.
19) The mail system.
20) Zion's National Park.
21) The whipped-cream-on-the-back-of-the-hand trick.
(ask Matt, he knows...)
22) Sports--whether it's playing or watching.
23) Edwards Jones Investments.
24) Lake Powell and all its glory.
25) Email that allows me to stay in
contact with friends--love you all.
26) Learning by example.
27) Opportunities to share my testimony.
28) The United States of America.
29) GNO's with my sisters. Ha-GNO's. Silly.
30) Hallmark movies.
31) Mint hot chocolate.
32) Pictures. I'm convinced they really do say
a thousand words.
33) Real Christmas trees. The smell is to die for.
34) Anytime I get to sing and play
on the guitar or piano is a good day.
Very. Good. Day.
35) Prayers being answered through other people,
especially when they have no idea
they're even involved.
36) Telephones to call people you don't see everyday.
37) Ability to grow emotionally, spiritually, socially, etc.
38) At the moment? I'm most grateful for the
opportunity I have to
make decisions, and follow through.
I love the feeling of making a goal
and taking steps toward accomplishing it.
Sigh.
Nothing quite like it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

On the Up and Up...

2009-11-21T17:59:00.012-07:00

The more life I live, the more I realize how good life is at throwing me for a loop. I need to remind myself not to feel "settled," because the instant I do, it's like I'm taken on another unexpected roller coaster ride.

I know this has always been the case throughout my life, but my perspective has changed over the course of this past year. My gratitude goes beyond anything I've ever felt.
One of the greatest blessings about this past year? I'm learning to love life, no matter what is thrown my way. Life is meant to be enjoyed. So although at times I feel overwhelmed (which comes pretty easily to me...good thing we're able to change, right?), discouraged, or just plain upset, I find myself bouncing back to optimism with much more ease. In fact, I've created a new life-motto, thanks to my best friend...
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
I've realized that no matter the stage of life I'm in, I'm always going to be waiting if I allow myself. Holidays, graduation, mission, marriage, children, etc...there is always going to be something. What a sad and draining way to live! I know if I don't learn to love life now, I'm guaranteed a shallow and dull life. Granted, there are times I don't have to try to love life. But I want the richest, fullest, most satisfying life possible! Why settle for anything less when I've been given the best resources to a meaningful life?
1) Gospel.
2) Family.
3) Opportunity.
4) AGENCY.
Bottom line? I love life.
Sometimes it's a choice, sometimes it's natural. But loving life, even in the deepest, darkest, saddest moments of my life, is just one of my many goals. So there you have it--bounce back from those moments of sadness with some umph, will you? We have way too much to be joyous about.
Now go find it.